Going Live

(This post was originally published December 17, 2016)

Do you like seeing yourself on film?

I never really have. It's awkward, it's embarrassing, and it's more eye-opening than I really care for. Do I really look like that? Do I really move like that? Do I really lisp like that? And everyone but me has to deal with that all the time??? Haha!

But as much as I feel funny about videos of myself, I feel equally energized by playing the piano for people. So I decided to jump on the Facebook Live bandwagon and make some Christmas movies.

I chose to do it at my in-laws house because I was pretty sure they would have a better connection than at our place in New Haven (the upload speed in Northwood probably ranks in the top 5 things I miss about Ann Arbor). They were good sports about me taking over the piano when I sort of threw the news on them (and of course, the short notice came back to surprise me when I learned lots of people were coming that morning!). Kevin and I figured out a way to prop up my phone, and then I took a deep breath and decided to go live!

There were some terrifying parts. Facebook would tell me who was watching, and I would panic as some names floated by. "Wait, he's watching? She's watching???? They know a lot about music! They know how things are supposed to sound! Yikes!" I would also panic a little as I waited for the next comment to tell me what to do. I hadn't thought of any filler things to say, so it was excruciating to wait.

Of course, the real terror came when the song and composer suggestions came. Sometimes a name would come up where I only vaguely knew any pieces by the composer (such as Erik Satie or Leonard Cohen). And, if I were a "real" pianist, I would know how to just plain play in the style of a composer without racking my brain for a piece of theirs that I know how to play to mash with the Christmas song. But I'm not, so I would have to hurry and think if I knew any pieces that would remotely work with the song. And you can't keep people waiting on Facebook Live!

But despite the terror and the total feelings of inadequacy, it was really, really fun, especially on those occasional moments where things just clicked. I was so grateful to everyone who was so supportive.

After about 15 minutes, I decided that it was time to stop hogging the piano, so I wrapped it up.




And that's when I discovered that the whole thing had been filmed sideways. Oops!

And that's also when I discovered some comments that I had missed, so I decided there was nothing to do but to try again the next day.



It's a unique experience playing impromptu music like this. There are a lot of things to keep track of -- the melody of the original song you're playing, the key you're in, the style you're trying to keep, etc. There were several songs where I lost one or more of those components, and I had to just keep playing until I got back to somewhere recognizable.

As I rewatched both, I thought, "Ack" over some parts (mostly about my physical appearance), "Oof" about my goofs, and "Oh well" for the mistakes in both appearance and performance that I didn't have control over.

But people are forgiving. And impromptu playing is forgiving, too -- no one really expects perfection when you are flying by the seat of your pants. It's just a fun adventure we all get to share together.

Although . . . I think it would be more fair if the people making suggestions had to be on the camera too. :)

(one last thing . . . I still think it's funny people wanted me to play in the style of Piano Guys. Can't do that without a cello!)